Day 1: Romance


Welcome to Day 1 of the 7-day Romance & Adventure Challenge!

Today life begins again.

Today you get another opportunity to say a big YES to the life you are really made for-- a life where you get to live each day more in love than the last.

Remember our not-so-secret agenda: To get you to experience more of your hidden wholeness by embracing both your sexual and spiritual energies together.

Sexuality isn’t just about sex (intercourse). And spirituality isn't just about religion. Both of these things are actually about energy. 

We invite you to consider this...

Think of your spiritual energy as your capacity to live by your deepest values.
Think of your sexual energy as your capacity to live by your deepest desires.

When we live by our deepest values and desires we experience this beautiful thing called wholeness.

The next 7 days will be about expanding your capacity to live by your deepest values and desires so that you can experience your hidden wholeness and add more tenderness, passion, and love into your life.

Sound good? 

Ronnie and I are with you. So is the community of Romance & Adventure Saints.

We’re kicking off this sexy and soulful challenge with something that is so powerful, yet really misunderstood:


Romance is the deepest thing in life, it’s deeper even than reality.

- G.K. Chesterton

What the heck is this man talking about? Do you feel romance as the bedrock of your existence?

Well, it is. In the words of an ancient tantric text,

“Every particle of creation at every moment is engaged in lovemaking.”

(Pretty hot, no?)

The truth is Love is the mysterious thing holding the whole universe together.

It’s the foundation of our spirituality and our sexuality.

There is a good reason we all are so crazy about love;  Love is it.

Love is at the heart of everything we are seeking.

Love is home.

But what we don’t realize, is that we are these particles actively engaged in lovemaking; we are love.

And being who we are, which is love, romance could be the most natural way of engaging with the world!

So why isn’t it? Why aren’t we feeling the love?

There is lots we could blame here (social messaging, childhood baggage, relationship wounds, suffering of all kinds) but suffice it to say...

Romance is a trigger word for a lot of people. When we hear the word romance we think of crappy cards and cliched gestures of affection.

We don’t normally think of our relationship with the universe, the laundry, or how we care for our body and mind.

Remember we told you this challenge was about learning how to integrate our spirituality with our sexuality, so get ready for a powerful redefinition of ROMANCE.

In the Cecil world, we define Romance as: 

Everything we do in the name of love.

This (re)definition has changed how we experience our lives, making romance waymore natural.

What we love about this definition is that it allows us to tap into the romance that is the bedrock of all existence, and actively participate with it. (NO ONE IS DISQUALIFIED).

Love is an energy, and romance is the intentional quality we bring to that energy.

Today’s Challenge:
Do Something Ordinary in the Name of Love

Since true romance is doing things (anything) in the name of love, that’s what we are going to consciously do today...  

Choose one of your normal everyday task you usually do on autopilot andinfuse it with the patience, kindness, attentiveness and devotion of one who is in love.

Notice what shifts.

What happens to your confidence level when you dress in the name of love? Notice how your experience as a mother softens when you wipe down the table in the name of love instead of resentment for the constant mess? How do you feel in your body when you kiss your partner in the name of love instead of obligation?  

The more you can infuse your ordinary tasks with patience, kindness, attentiveness and devotion, the more romantic your life will begin to feel.

Isn’t it freeing to know you don’t have to buy anything or change anything in your life to start experiencing more of what you want?

All it takes is a gentle nudge to remember what is true.

You are love, and when you do what you do in the name of love, you naturally feel more alive, connected, whole. Spiritually and sexually.

Need more quotable inspiration to get in the mood for this new take on ROMANCE?


  • “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Eden Abhez

  • “Do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

  • “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Oscar Wilde

  • “Let all things you do be done in love.”  1 Corinthians 16:14


Remember: Post your completed challenge (ideas: take a photo of something you did/are doing in the name of love) to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways (Mamamala necklace ($113 value) Imaginary Authors perfume ($95 value) and more!), connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! 

You are MADE to be in love.

Feeling full of romance today,


P.S. This is a community of saints, and in this beloved community there is only support and encouragement. What a wonderful thing to lay down the urge to compete or compare! Invite your friends and sisters to join this challenge with you. They can join anytime and it will make your life that much richer with true romance and meaningful adventure because you’ll have someone close to you to talk about it with! Send them here:


Day 2: Tenderness


Welcome to Day 2....

How does it feel to be consciously doing (ordinary) things in the name of love?

(If you are just joining us you can get caught up here.)

 Our evening last night was made to receive this note via email from one of you dear souls (you know who you are):

Something in your words made the distance between my mind (just pushing forward in life) and my heart (desperately wanting to receive love from myself) seem like a happy, peaceful walk. I think it was Truth coming through you, your husband and this challenge. It was as though I was able to move easier through today and that something is opening....I was so excited to incorporate love into my day's activities! 

Do you feel how just a little shift cab change your relationship with the world around you and your normal everyday life?

Annie Dillard said,

“How we spend our days is how we spend our life.”

The R&A Challenge is about learning how to live a life of true romance and meaningful adventure by learning how to infuse our days with the things that make us feel alive, cared-for, sensual, embodied, and brave... And doing so while closing the gap between our spirituality and our sexuality.

Because it's all about wholeness, folks, and we can't be whole until we reconcile these two incredibly powerful forces in our life-- our capacity to live by our values (spiritual energy) and our capacity to live our desires (sexual energy).  

When we are our best, our desires and our values align and we get to show up in the world with the most love and power possible!

Day 1 we redefined romance and brought love into the ordinary places. Today we are going to take this idea of Romance, and doing things in the name of love, and make it a little more personal.



I have seen what you want it is there. A beloved of infinite tenderness.

~ St. Caterina di Siena


Tenderness is what we are craving. In a world of so much pain and suffering, we desperately need more tenderness.

The sad thing is we've gotten used to looking for it in all the wrong places. Tenderness is not out there, it's in here

The secret to experience more tenderness in your life starts with self-care.

The kindness we bring to our relationship with ourself opens the door to the infinite tenderness of God.

Tenderness also opens the door to the bliss we can share when we are intimate with another. Yes, I’m talking about sex... and so much more.

In the ancient art of Tantra (which I study), tenderness is a key approach.

One of the ways I have learned how to integrate my spirituality with my sexuality is by learning how to be more tender in my relationship with my own body, my heart, my soul and my mind.

In other words, my spirituality and my sexuality stopped feeling so opposed to one another when I started taking care of my whole self with supreme sincerity.

Before I understood how my self-care routine was affecting my ability to live a life of true romance and adventure, I used to wake up feeling rushed and disconnected.  I would start my day feeling lost and anxious, jumping right into the to-do list like a never-ending battle.

My whole day would take on this uneasy tone and the only way I could unwind at night was with alcohol or ice-cream. This didn’t make me feel very sexy or connected to my feminine power by the time I slid into bed  with my husband.

When Ronnie and I started getting intentional about our sex life by regaining trust, intimacy and tenderness in our relationship, I also began a journey of awakening tenderness in my relationship with myself.

Awakening tenderness is a poetic way of saying practicing self-care.

If you hate that phrase self-care, you probably need it the most, darling!

And I know what you are thinking, "But it's so selfish!" Heck no, friend, it's one of the most practical ways you can better serve the world (and all your beloveds).

Benefits of Self-Care

  • Creates the conditions for you to feel sexy and strong

  • Optimizes your health and wellbeing

  • Brings balance into your day by giving you

  • Anchors you to something bigger, i.e Love or Infinite Tenderness

  • Connects you to yourself so you can connect more meaningfully with others.

Self-care is the practices and rituals we adopt into our day that serve our wholeselves, and in turn allow us to better serve our families and our purpose in this world.

Self care is also an opportunity to honor our sexuality. This isn’t as hard or scary as it may sound. We honor our sexuality by simply honoring the fact that we have a body.

My morning routine is the foundation of my self-care practice. And my self-care practice always begins by remembering I don’t just live in my head, I live in my body.

Here is a peak into my a.m. ritual:

Every morning I get up and the first thing I do is get on my mat. I mindfully and sensually move my body, listening to what my body needs that day. Next I light a candle, annoint my forehead with Frankincense, and sit in meditation. I close my meditation with prayer and if I my kids still aren’t awake yet, I’ll read, write in my journal, or talk about what is inspiring me to my husband, who is usually sitting beside me. My morning routine closes with making a green drink with my daughter and then I get on my day. 

My morning routine is a gift I give myself and my whole family. I am better when I make time for it, so I make time for it in the name of love. The tenderness I experience in my body and in my heart each morning, softens my gaze on the world and allows me to see the romance that is.

Now it’s your turn.


Today’s Challenge: Add a Little Tenderness to Your Morning Routine

Take a look at how you start your day. Do you have a routine? Is your routine working for you? Do you enter your day feeling refreshed and energized, or do you start your day already feeling behind and scattered? Does your morning routine honor your sexuality or completely ignore it?

Consider what you are doing/thinking/feeling from the time you wake up to the time you are “on.” (Being “On” means you are needed in some capacity-- either for work or to care for your children. This space between being asleep and being “on”  is your sacred window to create a morning routine. Whether it’s 10 minutes or 90, your job is to fill it with as much tenderness as possible. 

Try one of these Ideas:

  • Move your body mindfully (dance, yoga)
  • Meditate or pray
  • Journal
  • Write poetry
  • Light a candle
  • Offer up a blessing of thanks to your heart for beating for you unconditionally
  • Anoint your body with essential oils
  • Connect with nature
  • Visualize
  • Make a green drink
  • Get inspired (listen to a podcast or read)
  • Make love
  • Write a letter of encouragement to your future self or someone you love
  • Sing a hymn or mantra

Please don’t feel like you have to have a 90 minute morning routine to make it count. Start with 10 minutes, heck start with 2! Just start with one of these ideas and really make it your own.  Once that practice starts feeling like a comfy tee, then maybe starting adding in another.

Quotable inspiration:

  • “Be kind to your sleeping heart. Take it out into the vast field of light and let it breathe.” Hafiz

  • “Self-care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on the earth to offer others.” Parker Palmer

  • “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Jack Kornfield

  • “...Until you learn to treat the struggling human being whom you are with a modicum of empathy, tenderness, and love, you will never be able to love anyone or anything with the fullness of your heart…and that would be a great shame. Because this is what we all want, isn’t it? This is what we came here for, right? To learn how to love each other with the fullness of our hearts? Please know this: Whenever you withhold love from yourself, you are withholding love from the world…period. We really need you to stop doing that.The world has enough problems, without you withholding any more love.” Elizabeth Gilbert

Remember: Post your completed challenge (ideas: take a photo of something you did/are doing in the name of love) to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways (Mamamala necklace ($113 value) Imaginary Authors perfume ($95 value) and more!), connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! 

I want to echo St. Caterina di Siena,

I have seen what you want and it is there,

A Beloved of infinite tenderness.

Be encouraged friends!

You are closer to Love than you know. The Beloved you seek is waiting for you. And don't be surprised if you find this Beloved at the sacred place where your spirituality and sexuality meet.

Tender-Loving Grace & Peace,


P.S. This is a community of saints, and in this beloved community there is only support and encouragement. What a wonderful thing to lay down the urge to compete or compare! Invite your friends and sisters to join this challenge with you. They can join anytime and it will make your life that much richer with true romance and meaningful adventure because you’ll have someone close to you to talk about it with! Send them here:


Day 3: Delight


We are 3 days into the 7-Day R&A Challenge and today we’re going to initiate you a little more into the Romance & Adventure Sutras, and help you unlock the good desire, passion and deep connection you crave.

Remember: Sexuality is our capacity to live our deepest desires. Spirituality is our capacity to live by our deepest values and core truths.  When these two powerful energies within us are reconciled we get to experience wholeness. 

(And wholeness is our agenda for you!)

Today’s theme is...


All around you, in every moment,

The world is offering a feast for your senses.

- Radiance Sutras

In the Romance & Adventure Sutras (our 6-week online program) we explain why we need to awaken and delight in our senses.

Core truth: All love begins and ends in the act of paying attention.

In the Mastery Program we also help you understand why it’s not enough to just know this deep truth about love (because we all do deep down!), but why we need guides to push us (in love of course) so that we can increase our capacity to live by our deepest desires, values and truths.

So, dear saint, we are going to do more than a little nudging today because we know what’s possible for you.

A quick review:

  • Who you are is love.
  • And like all human beings, you operate best when you are full of love, falling in love, feeling the love, embracing all the ways love can be expressed spiritually and sexually.  
  • This is path of Romance & Adventure and of unveiling your hidden wholeness.

Day 1 Romance is about doing all things in the name of love.

Day 2  Self-care as a doorway to tenderness (and tenderness is the meeting place of our spirituality and sexuality).  

Now, some days are easier than others. Some days you feel the love, some days you do not. Somedays it’s energizing and exciting to try new things, some days you cling to your old ways in fear of something you can’t name or see.

I’ve been there. Lots. I’ve felt the high of knowing, I’ve got this! And the extreme low of feeling, there is no way I have what this takes.

Here is the truth, when we are learning something new (i.e. learning how to create and experience more tenderness, passion, and love in our life) we all hit familiar walls.

Maybe we start tuning into the voices that say we are disqualified from love and happiness for this reason or that.

Maybe, without even noticing it, we start comparing ourselves to others and suddenly we are feeling like we are not good enough.

Maybe we are just tired or busy and we skip a day and then we call the whole thing off. (Ever have this experience with your diet?)

There is a solution to finding our way back to inspiration, back to feeling alive, back to the path of true romance and meaningful adventure.  

It works so well for me (and so many other women) that I've made it our Day 3 challenge.


Today’s Challenge:

Delight in Your Senses 


Today I want you to give yourself permission to indulge in one of your 5 senses. Trade judgement for wonder and give yourself over to one intensely good thing.

  • Get a massage (touch)
  • Put on headphones and listen to this (hearing)
  • Anoint yourself with essential oils (my favorite for awakening my sexy side is wild orange and ylang ylang) (scent)
  • Visit the art museum or window shop at your favorite stores (sight)
  • Take yourself out for a meal or treat yourself to the best chocolate you can find (taste)

When we delight in our senses, we remember the joy of being here! Alive! Human!

Our physical senses remind us we are a feeling creature who belongs here as much as anyone. We are a part of this world and we get to participate with it, share in it, delight in it.

Infuse your day with this:

All around you, in every moment,

The world is offering a feast for your senses.

Songs are playing,

Tasty food is on the table,

Fragrances are in the air,

Colors fill the eyes with light.


You who long for union,

Attend this banquet with loving focus.

The outer and inner worlds

Open to each other

Oneness of vision, oneness of heart.


Right here, in the midst of it all,

Mount that elation,

Ascend with it,

Become identical

With the ecstatic essence

Embracing both worlds.

~The Radiance Sutra #50


One of my favorite teaching from the Tantric texts is this idea that pleasure (i.e. full delight in our senses) can lead us to the divine. 

This is such an important revelation, especially for those who have gotten the message that pleasure is dangerous and forbidden.

In the ancient arts of love, which we go deeper into in the Romance & Adventure Sutras Mastery Program, pleasure, delight and desire are all great teachers. When we let go of shame and give ourselves permission to feel good, not as a form of escape, but as a practice of paying attention and participating with the beauty of the present moment, a doorway opens to freedom….and love.

Hallelujah!, in this spacious place of shame-free sensation, spirituality and sexuality are not at odds at all. 

And we can teach you how to follow this delight all the way back to the bedroom and how to let this delight bring you back to a remembrance of joy, curiosity, possibility, lightness and fun between the sheets.

Coming up Aug 25th is our 3-Part Video Training Series on Sex, Love & Life to the Full. Video #1 is all about Sex: Permission to Let Go of Shame. Don’t miss it. If it is a struggle for you to experience pleasure and fully delight in your senses, you aren’t alone and we can help.

More encouragement from a Franciscan Friar (in case you are doubting me):

  • “All we can finally do is pray that we allow the flow of desire, which is the very presence of Spirit within us. If there is no living water flowing through you, then you must pray for the desire to desire.”  Richard Rohr

Remember: Post your completed challenge to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways (Mamamala necklace ($113 value) Imaginary Authors perfume ($95 value) and more!), connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! 



Day 4: Breathe

The days are beginning to reveal more tenderness, passion, connection and love.

Do you feel it?

On this challenge we’re doing simple things that make a huge impact on how we live:

by consciously doing what we do in the name of love instead fear (day 1),
incorporating tenderness into our morning routine (day 2),
and giving ourselves permission to delight in our senses (day 3),
we are learning how to experience true romance.

In these little practices we are are also learning how to integrate our sexuality with our spirituality,  aligning our values and our desires, so that we can access the hidden wholeness within. THIS IS POWERFUL.

Today's goodness is super simple and one of my favorite teaching threads throughout the Romance & Adventure Sutras Mastery Program (6-week program opening September 1st for enrollment!}...

It’s all about the...


As far as practices go, there is no more simple or effective practice than the breath to elevate our spirituality and our sexuality.

The benefits of conscious breathing are endless; improving our mood, relieving stress, increasing our immunity and metabolism, and even intensifying and prolonging orgasms (we go WAY into this in the R&A Sutras).

For now, we'll keep it super simple (and G-rated).

Have you heard the saying,

How we do anything is how we do everything?

It has become one of my mantras and a great reminder for how to live undivided.

And if we can believe it’s true that how we do anything is how we do everything, than learning how to breathe with love is essential to living the kind of life we are made for, a life of true romance and meaningful adventure.

Breathing with love is just breathing with intention. Or, another way to put it (remembering back to Day 1 of the challenge) inhaling and exhaling in the name of love.

On average we breathe 22,000 times/day. That's 22,000 opportunities to devote ourselves back to love. When we tie a gentle awareness of our inhales and exhales to our desire to love and be loved, our very breath becomes prayers.

How beautiful and magic is this?!

The breath is also one of the most powerful ways we can learn to integrate our spirituality with our sexuality. For one, the breath helps us slow down and get present. Which is absolutely key if we are going to be able to connect meaningfully and intimately with our own heart and body, God or anybody else.

In the Romance & Adventure Sutras Mastery Program we will be teaching specific breathing techniques from the Tantra and the contemplative prayer traditions. For today, focus on one of the greatest benefits of conscious breathing, the gift it gives us to slow down.  


Today’s Challenge:
Breathe (Slowly & Deeply) with Love


Schedule 5 minutes of breathing with love sometime today.

When you are ready, pick your favorite spot to sit.

Let your people know you would like to be left alone for 5 min. (Good luck with the kiddos!)

Set a timer. (This is my favorite meditation timer app.)

Notice your breath.

On the inhale simply smile.

On the exhale simply smile.

After a few breaths simply smiling and linking your mind to the wave of your breathing,
begin the Romance & Adventure Mantra...

As you exhale nice and soft and slow whisper "I am made for romance."

Inhale and smile again.

On your next oh-so-slow-and-tender exhale whisper “I am made for adventure.”

Rest in these two truths. 

When the inhale comes, delight in how it fills you, without any effort on your part.

When the exhale comes, remember your only job is to let go, a little more, a little more, a little more.

Until the timer goes off this is all I want you to do. 

When your mind wanders (and it will), go back to your smile, reminding yourself to be compassionate and kind. Then come back to the mantra with each exhale,

“I am made for romance.”

“I am made for adventure.”

These aren't silly self-help affirmations. These simple sentences are an anchor, grounding you to the deepest truth in the universe.

Being still is not easy, but it is the place where we find the deep well within where love and true freedom can be tapped.

After the timer goes off check in with yourself. How do you feel?

We challenge you to make this (5 minutes of breathing with love) a part of your tender-loving self-care morning routine for the rest of the challenge.

The Wonders of the Breath:

  • The vagus nerve is this wonder of our nervous system that roams from your brain all the way down to deep in your belly. Slow abdominal breaths activate the vagus nerve and when this nerve is activated, we move from flight and fight to rest and digest, and not just physically digest, but emotionally digest too. In this state the gap between our desires and our values narrows and it becomes WAY easier to live undivided.

  • Every time we breathe deeply our heart gets a hug. The way our organs sit in our body, the lungs and the heart spoon one another. There is a reason deep breathing feels so good. Our heart, like my husband, likes to be held close and hugged hard. Deep breathing does this. When our physical heart is getting this tender loving care, our emotional heart benefits too. In this relaxed state of being so well-loved from the inside out, we are able to see clearer, connect more intimately with ourselves and others, and feel into our own hidden wholeness.



Breathe, my friend. Breathe deep!

Remember: Post your completed challenge (idea: a beautiful “I’m feeling so replenished” selfie just after your 5 min of breathing with love) to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways and connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! Can’t wait to see your glowing faces.

Be tender, smile, practice saying kind and truthful things, and just breathe. 


P.S. This is a community of saints, and in this beloved community there is only support and encouragement. What a wonderful thing to lay down the urge to compete or compare! Invite your friends and sisters to join this challenge with you. They can join anytime and it will make your life that much richer with true romance and meaningful adventure because you’ll have someone close to you to talk about it with! Send them here:

Day 5: Surrender


In these simple practices of the 7-Day Romance & Adventure Challenge we are are learning how to integrate our sexuality with our spirituality, aligning our values and our desires, so that we can access the hidden wholeness within. 

Wholeness is living unconflicted. Living unconflicted means there isn't a battle between our desires and our values. Each nourish and care for the other.  

How do we start experiencing our unconflicted nature a.k.a. the hidden wholeness within?


Experiencing our own hidden wholeness is less about doing and more aboutallowing

We're all pretty good at doing things. That's the nature of our culture right now; a culture that values productivity, accomplishment, self-reliance, independence. 

Ever wonder why in a land of so much opportunity and privilege it’s still so hard to experience joy? 

The harder we try for happiness, the more we strive to be happy, the farther we drift from it. 

Here is something those of you who are new to the R&A Community may not know about me:

For years my life was marked by depression and anxiety. From the time I was 16 till I was 26 I cycled through every anti-depressant on the market. I got straight As in high school and college, even as I carried on a double life as a big party girl.  

I was good at doing things (and masking things). But I didn't know how to experience joy. 

It wasn't until my life got wildly out of my control--when I got pregnant and became a single mother-- that I learned the secret.

Single motherhood forced me into an inner journey of feeling. On that journey I learned how to stop doing so much (to avoid feeling certain feelings) and how to startallowing all the feelings to teach me. 

I've been off prescription drugs for 10 yeas. That's no small thing coming from my family history. 

I don't want to simplify my inner journey, but one things I know for sure is that there are realms of happiness (and sexual pleasure, by the way) that can only be accessed when we just let go and dare to feel it all.

In Tantric philosophy, you and I aren't just here to feel good (what Consumer Culture and pharmaceutical companies spend billions to convince us to believe), you and I are here to get good at feeling

Joy waits for those who feel,
and for those who allow themselves
the gift of wildly surrendering to the feeling.

So much of my inability to experience joy had to do with my refusal to feel all my feelings. Internally I was so conflicted.

The more I practice and embody true romance and meaningful adventure, the more I realize true happiness is not some high ideal above me, something always just out of reach, but rather true happiness is the terra firma beneath my feet.

Buckminster Fuller said, 

"Love is a metaphysical gravity."

It's not just a poetic idea, but a radically practical one. 

We are all held together by love. Pinned down to true happiness (if we could only stop fighting it!) 

Joy is not somewhere else; Joy is on the ground floor of our being. It's not some esoteric idea either, it's the very real and felt awakening and experience in our bodies. 

When I teach yoga I often remind my students that they are safe.

Feeling safe is the only way we shift from doing to allowing.  

(We''ll teach more about this concept in the 3-Part Video Series we have coming up on Sex, Love & Life to the Full)

"Let the ground beneath you hold you up," I say to my students on their mat, "Surrender a little more to gravity. Gravity can be trusted. It's very good at it’s job. Let it do it's job; it will hold you here reliably, you don't have it help it out."

Love is a certain kind of gravity: There is nothing to do but surrender to it. 

This is important:

When we surrender to love it doesn't need to look a certain way. We can surrender to love through joy and happiness and passion and bliss. And we can surrender to love through sadness and anger, through feelings of fear, guilt and even shame. 

That's the beauty of wild surrender: it can look however it damn well pleases. 

All of us- married, single, divorced, dating, with kids, without kids, with pets without pets, living the dream, finding the dream- all of us are held together by a physical and cosmic power. We are safe here on this beautiful and tiny earth, we are held.

Why is it that none of us wastes a single ounce of energy worrying about floating away? 

Because we intimately trust in gravity! We feel safe with gravity!

When we go to sleep, we just lie there. We don't tie ourselves down to our beds, we trust gravity will hold us right where we need to be held!

This easy surrender to gravity is so natural it's silly to imagine behaving anyway else, right?

Surrender to love can be this way too.

Each moment we just allow it to be this simple and easy is a moment of true victory...

But I also know how difficult this can be.

As someone who experienced sexual abuse, betrayal and disappointment again and again, feeling truly safe was not easy for me...anywhere, with anyone.

And since we are talking about spirituality and sexuality, I can be real with you: 

My ability to wildly surrender in the bedroom required me to take an honest look at areas in my relationship where trust and intimacy had been lost. We talk about this in Video #2 of the Romance & Adventure Sutras 3-Part Video Series. You are getting free access, so don’t miss it. Especially if you are someone like me who struggles with this idea of wild surrender.



Today’s Challenge:
Surrender Wildly to


Find a safe place, outside if you can. (Ancient wisdom says the energy of the Earth itself is healing.)

Take off your shoes.

Take a moment to consider the dominant emotion of your life right now. 

Be honest: Realize the dominant emotion may be a shadow emotion. What is it you are resisting to feel?

Carry that feeling with you and lay down flat on the ground.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath in and sigh it all out through your mouth.

Sink deeper into the soft earth and do it again.

Lay here in stillness and just allow yourself to be held by a force that is bigger than you.


Lay here in expressive motion.

Wildly flail your arms and legs, twisting and turning your body, allowing that feeling you've been bottling up to flow through you. Move out of you through your very body, breath and skin.

This is practical and poetic surrender.

It doesn't have to look pretty.

When the emotion has said it's peace through the language of your body, rest.

Scan your body for any tension and invite that place in your body to relax a little more.

In this postures of surrender, let gravity hold you up and let love hold you together.

Every part of you belongs.

You are acceptable in all of your ways, feeling and expressing all of your feels.

Wild surrender is not just about letting go, it’s also about fiercely owning what you want. You don’t have to fight internally any more. 

We created the R&A Sutras Mastery Program (beginning Sept 10th) for those who want a better way of being in relationship to the deepest parts of themselves and their sacred partner. The program is for those who are done trying to do things to feel good, and are ready to get good at feeling. 

You can be a spiritual and sexual being. In fact, you already are, so just surrender to that fact and feel how good it feels when you can stop trying to decide between your spiritual self and your sensual self.  Feel how freeing it is to just get on with loving wholeheartedly. 

In wild surrender everything that you are belongs.

When you get up off the floor, bring that wild surrender into the rest of your day. Dare to trust the gravity of love, holding you to the happiness that can always be found when you give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel and just...let...go. 


Remember: Post your completed challenge (can't wait to see how you'll choose to represent this one!) to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways and connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! 

Do this challenge and Monday will feel like it's never felt before. 

Be brave, don't resist. Joy waits for you, dear Unconflicted One. 


P.S. This is a community of saints, and in this beloved community there is only support and encouragement. What a wonderful thing to lay down the urge to compete or compare! Invite your friends and sisters to join this challenge with you. They can join anytime and it will make your life that much richer with true romance and meaningful adventure because you’ll have someone close to you to talk about it with! Send them here:


Day 6: Rendezvous


Welcome to Day 6 of the 7-day Romance & Adventure Challenge!

Today is going to be FUN!

We’ve been diving into romance, tenderness, delight and experiencing the gifts of breath and wild surrender.

Today is going to be super fun. It’s all about creating excitement, anticipation, and having something to look forward to. You know what these things do for us? They unlock passion!

One of the sexiest words in the world is this word...


 But few people know what it really means.  I'll give you a hint...

“We have the choice of two identities: the external mask which seems to be real...and the hidden, inner person, who seems to us to be nothing, but who can give himself {herself} eternally to the truth in whom he {she} subsists.”
Thomas Merton

The word rendezvous comes from 16th century France. It’s the imperative of se rendre which means to present yourself! 

Like, take of your mask, dear!

So often when we present ourself to the world, and even to the people we love the most, we are hiding behind some kind of mask. Today’s challenge is to remove the mask and to show up, and present yourself, as your TRUE SELF.

Before you freak out, we aren’t talking about shadow work (we’ll get to that in The Romance & Adventure Sutras Mastery Program Module 4: The Art of Being Known). Today we’re keeping this light and fun and easy, but also stretching you to get out of the box you may be a bit too comfortable hiding in.

One of the the best practices we can do to integrate our spirituality with our sexuality, i.e. increase our capacity to live by our deepest desires and our core values, is to pursue and honor the things that light us up.

One of my most profound spiritual moments was when I heard a holy whisper in my heart say You can trust what lights you up.

At the time that looked like giving myself over to a yoga practice even though not everyone in my religious community understood it.

I took my mask off and unlocked a new passion for life as well.


Today’s Challenge:
Plan a Rendezvous with Your True Self

We all have things we would LOVE to do, but don’t make time for. What we don’t realize, though, is that when we don’t make time for the things we love to do, we cut ourselves off from passion.

When we are consistently neglecting the things that light us up, we are sadly dishonoring the true self. Without the true self, it's impossible to come fully alive spiritually and sexually.

Where do we find the True Self?


The True Self can be found on the trail of what lights you up.

Let joy be your breadcrumbs.

So, what lights you up? 

A farmer's market? A foreign film? A picnic at the park with balloons? 10 min of hula hopping? 3 indulgent hours at a bookstore? A hotel room? A hip-hop class? Paint colors and brushes? Trying on clothes at Anthropologie? ($100 Gift card coming to one of you!)

You don’t need to think too hard about this, just choose one thing you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t made time for. Google whatever you need to google. Call whoever you need to call to help with the kids, and make this rendezvous with your True Self happen.

Don’t close this email out until you do!

Truly, you need this challenge to be your perfectly good excuse to spend some one-on-one time with your True Self for the purposes of rekindling some passion for life. (Your whole family will benefit-- especially your man).

Here is another reason why this challenge is so is important:

If you are someone who struggles with getting turned on or feeling in the mood for sex, most likely you are in desperate need of a sexy rendezvous with your true self. 

Novelty fuels passion! Rendezvous are novel and we love them for it. 

Feeling bored and depleted inside is one of the biggest reasons we lose interest in sex. It's also why we lose our creativity and our desire for fun in general. 

In the R&A Sutras Mastery Program we talk more about 3 proven things that build passion in a committed relationship (novelty is one of them!) and we go deeper into what feeds us and what depletes as it relates to sex and life, our turn-ons and turn-offs.  

In the R&A Sutras we'll also tell you how Ronnie and I traveled across land and sea to pull off an incredibly romantic rendezvous at the Trevi Fountain in Rome, and we'll teach you all the steps you need so that you can create a successful and unforgettable rendezvous with your love, too.

For today, keep your rendezvous personal. Let it be light, fun, easy. 

The goal is you, encountering the light in you, via what lights you up!

Whether your meeting place is across the globe or in your own closet, the magic of rendezvous is that you are presenting yourself, your TRUE self.

No need to complicate, just plan it and show up!

Remember: Post your completed challenge to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways and connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! There is still $100 gift card to Anthropologie to be won! Can’t wait to see snaps of your rendezvous plans and adventures.

With love and light....

A big fan of you and your True Self,


P.S. Remember this is a community of saints, and in this beloved community there is only support and encouragement. What a wonderful thing to lay down the urge to compete or compare! Invite your friends and sisters to join this challenge with you. They can join anytime and it will make your life that much richer with true romance and meaningful adventure because you’ll have someone close to you to talk about it with! Send them here:



Day 7: Adeventure




Here is what Ronnie and I know for sure:

  1. You are made for romance and adventure.
  2. Your heart is good (and so is your body).
  3. Your life can begin again.
  4. Come what may you can choose to love more, not less.

We call these "The 4 Noble Truths of Romance & Adventure." :)

Whenever we taken the risk in the name love and for the sake of love to really believe these things-- even and especially when we weren’t feeling them or experiencing them the way we want-- we were rewarded.

In other words, saying yes to the inward journey of true romance and meaningful adventure, always leads us to deeper spiritual and sexual well-being...

And when we get to experience reconciliation in our life force, i.e. alignment between our deepest desires with our highest values, we naturally get to enjoy more passion, connection, and love.

The first day of the challenge we redefined Romance so that you could experience it as a natural element in your life as opposed to a cliche you resented.

Remember: Romance is everything you do in the name of love.

Now, on the last day of the challenge it’s time to redefine Adventure, so that you can courageously move forward in the areas of your life you KNOW you need freedom and transformation.

Instagram may have you believe that adventure is summiting a mountain or standing perilously on a ledge to be photographed with the horizon.

But adventure, at least when it comes to love, is more of an inward journey than an outward one.

Our definition of adventure is this: anything you do for the sake of love that requires you to be brave.

One of the defining moments in our marriage was saying YES to sexual wellbeing. It was SO scary in the beginning and definitely required us to be brave for the sake of love.

You know where you need to be brave. It’s what you are trying to avoid, but can’t stop thinking about. It’s the thing that feels heavy and dark, but in reality holds much of your hidden greatness.


Today’s Challenge:
Be Brave for the Sake of Love

(Say YES to one thing that scares you)


What do you want?

Want more money? 

Saying yes to owning your true value and worth will totally shift your earning potential.

Want a better body?

Saying yes to loving the skin you are in and treating it with honor will change your relationship with food and exercise.

Want a more fulfilling relationship?

Saying yes to regaining trust and intimacy with your partner and your true self will create a deeper more meaningful connection.

Want more pleasure and fun?

Saying yes to letting go of shame and learning how to receive good things (guilt-free) will blow all the hinges off the doors keeping you from enjoying life to the full.

Day 7 of the R&A Challenge is to bravely write down whatever it is that you want. Say yes to it in your own heart and then take action by sharing it with someone you trust.

(When you share your completed challenge on instagram or facebook, just say I did it! or Today I am brave for the sake of love.)

Here is what we we know:

You can’t get all the way to sexy wholeness and "life to the full" if you are living divided between your sexuality and your spirituality. They must merge, and the longer you wait to integrate these two powerful energies in your life, the more time you waste denying yourself your best life, the life you know you are really made for.

Don’t wait. Use the momentum of the past seven days, as well as the collective energy of the group, to take action today.

Here is the truth: If we do not take action the likelihood that our future will look exactly like our present is high (very high). 

If Ronnie and I didn’t take action in our marriage we would still be living in bedroom hell, divided in ourselves and in our relationship. But because we were brave, and said yes to the adventure of love, we now experience more freedom and wholeness than we ever thought possible. Not mention, a fabulous, mutually fulfilling, deeply nourishing and FUN sex life.

Change does not happen without our consent. We have to say YES to the very thing that scares us the most.

If you have hung in The R&A Challenge this long, and you resonate with our story, then maybe one of biggest areas of your life begging for your courage and bravery is your sex life. And maybe the idea of unlocking the power of your sexuality also excites you (it should!).

We got something for you to help you in this ongoing practice of being brave for the sake of love between the sheets and on the streets...Opening tomorrow, Thursday August 25th, we are releasing the first video in our FREE 3-part Romance & Adventure Sutras Training Series that walks you through step by step how we created a romantic and adventurous marriage of SEX, LOVE & LIFE TO THE FULL so that you too can experience more wholeness in the bedroom and beyond.

Hold yourself accountable to this personal adventure of being brave for the sake of love.

Say yes.
Say yes.
Say yes.

Grace & Peace & Courage,

Remember: Post your completed challenge to facebook or instagram with @romanceandadventure + #RAChallenge to be entered to win the giveaways, connect with the community of R&A Saints, and keep yourself motivated! Can’t wait to see what you are saying a big YES to.

P.S. If you have been resonating and growing with these challenges and messages of what it really means to live a wholehearted and deeply connected life of Romance and Adventure, you are going to love our FREE 3-part Romance & Adventure Sutras Training Series opening tomorrow. You are already in! No need to sign up again. Just get ready with pen and paper to enjoy 3 free teachings with us in the comfort of your own home.

We are going to walk you through step-by-step how we created a romantic and adventurous marriage of SEX, LOVE & LIFE TO THE FULL so that you too can experience more wholeness in the bedroom and beyond.


By sharing the 3-part training series and our Facebook page with your friends you can be entered to win one of the 2 Full Scholarships to The Romance & Adventure Sutras Mastery Program ($1597 value). One scholarship will go to a single woman, one scholarship will go to a couple. Tag us  when you share this link on Facebook, and be sure to comment on the videos when each are released, so we know you are serious about participating with us in The R&A Sutras this fall!

We'll announce the winner in a live Facebook video stream on September 1st at 6:30pm PST! (Have to be present to win, RSVP here