Episode 15: Sexier Sex, All Day Foreplay

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When most people think of foreplay they think of the things they do with their hands and/or mouth before intercourse. When we think of foreplay, we think of so much more. 

In this episode we talk about how to architect your entire day so that two things happen. 

1) You remove the obstacles blocking desire.

2) You awaken desire and turn up the heat.

In this episode:

- You'll learn how all the little details throughout the day can have a GIANT impact on sex later that night.

- You'll see how the way most of us live actually kills our desire for sex and what we can do about it. 

- You’ll hear exactly what we do throughout the day to make the conditions right so that if the mood does arise, we're way more game. 

- You’ll hear how quickly most people rush into sex and how long you should really focus on getting warmed up before you engage in intercourse.

-You’ll hear how we got started with Tantra and how it's revolutionized our sex life. 

We’ve also included all the questions that we asked each other (plus a few more we didn’t get to) in the notes below. Use them on your next date night with your lover, dinner party with your bffs, or as journal prompts to get to know your own heart better.

Thanks for listening and thanks for subscribing. If you enjoyed this episode, please click on the share buttons below and share with your friends and community.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

  1. What turns you on in life?

  2. What turns you on in the bedroom?

  3. What turns you off in life?

  4. What turns you off in the bedroom?

  5. Design an ideal day that leads to intimacy and shared connection. 

QUOTES FROM THIS WEEK’S EPISODE

The Romance & Adventure definition of foreplay is actively pursuing what light you and your partner up and turning on the whole self.
Gives her heart what it really wants-- intimacy! -Morgan
“Foreplay begins at the end of the previous orgasm.” —Esther Perel

 

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

 

You know what really help us right now?

YOUR ITUNES REVIEW OF THE R&A PODCAST!

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Episode 14: Sexy Sex

 

Episode 14: Sexy Sex

April 17, 2017

Sex is sexy, but sexy sex is even sexier.

Think back to the last time you had sex? What was it like? Was it great, was it just ok or was it a minor disaster

Many couples, who really really love each other aren’t feeling fulfilled in the bedroom. Something feels off or lacking. There is more suffering than joy.  Most cases this isn’t because they don’t belong together, or there is something fundamentally wrong with either partner, but because they have never been taught what sexual well-being and a fulfilling sex life, i.e. sexy sex, could look like.

What is Sexy Sexy?

Sexy Sex is the fullness of Love & Turn-On, when your 5 senses are activated and you then experience the spiritual connection.

It’s what we all really want and we can’t quite articulate, but know it when you have it.

It’s when you’ve got the basics-- safety, love and belonging and it’s amplified by an erotic energy. “Carnality feels welcome and safe.” There is no guilt or shame or fear.

Everything belongs. It’s all in the light. Naughtiness in the light is FUN and JOY.

SEXY SEX ISN’T JUST ABOUT INTERCOURSE!

“The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul." ~William B. Yeats

Sexy Sex is sex where you truly open up emotionally and sexually to your partner and receive love and safety and belonging from him and yourself.

Questions to know if you are having Sexy Sex

- Do you feel energized, uplifted and happy?

- Do you feel calm, centred and grounded, like you’ve become more of your true, authentic self?

- Do you feel more excited confident, like more is possible in your future than you could see before?

"Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions." ~Deepak Chopra

Quick wins for you regarding Sexy Sex?

-Listen to this podcast with your spouse. It will naturally prompt new conversations. You don’t have to take responsibility for awkward conversations, we'll start them for you!

-Get excited about taking your sex life on as a worthwhile endeavor, journey, and adventure that is full of mystery, risk, and meaning.

-Put intimacy on the calendar. The goal is connection, not orgasm. The goal is closeness, not penetration. 

Episode 13: How to Turn Yourself On

Listen on Podbean | Listen on iTunes

If you've ever wondered how to really create a new desire in your life, this is the episode where we teach you how, and it's not what you think.

Follow along with The R&A Roadmap for Deeper Connection We are covering #12 DEVOTE YOURSELF TO WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP  

Ron was walking with a friend of his the other day and his friend was telling him about a conversation that he and his wife had a few nights earlier. She looked at him and said, I just don't see the fire in your eyes anymore. You seem defeated. 

How many of us have had similar conversations?

My friend isn't alone, this happens to ALL of us. We've had countless other men and women tell us similar stories. Dreams that are started and never finished. Careers that have had so much promise but then are only met with disappointment. Not to mention the pain of a relationship that has lost its way, especially in the bedroom. The sum total means that we are left with less light in our life.

In this episode, we are going to explore:

1) How to create a "beautiful state" of mind.

2) How to create the emotions in ourselves that helps us delight in whatever we find ourselves

3) How in doing so, we "turn ourselves on," yes even in sex. 

The gist is this, when we do the activities that light up, we become healthier people, we are better partners, better parents, and even better and giving and receiving love in all its forms.  

Plus, we have a few really cool announcements. 

Firstly, Morgan is leading an incredible women's retreat in Italy this summer, there are just a few spots left and if you've been on the fence, it's time to act.  The retreat is called Sophia Embodied, you can check it out here.

Plus, Ron just finished a primer on fear called Face your Fear. It's available on amazon. You can also get it for free at roncecil.com

Beautiful Questions to Ask Your Partner or Journal

1. What does it "you can trust what lights you up" mean to you?

2. What does it feel like in your body when you are "lit-up"?

3.  Do you see the connection between the state of being lit up and the state of being turned on? Can you see how pleasure/joy could be a holy practice?

4. Where do you most often live emotionally? Would you say your brain state is high vibration (love, joy, peace, bliss, pleasure) or low vibration (worry, anxiety, sadness, fear, anger)?

WANT TO KNOW OUR 12 SIMPLE PRACTICES FOR DEEPER CONNECTION AND A BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY LIFE? WE CALL IT THE R&A ROADMAP. You can grab it for free below!


Italy Women's Retreat


Resources

 

 

Episode 12: Intentional Feelings (Feel the Feelings)

So far, this year has been a real doozy. Politics, job transitions, money, continuing education, 2017 has already been an emotional tsunami. We are feeling a lot of feelings. 

In this episode, we are talking about feelings and how to really feel those things.

We remember Stewart Smalley is actually a US Senator. We discuss the grim reality of panic attacks and that no matter how cool you might think it is, cocaine is never cool. Ever. 

Morgan teaches us what feelings really are ... or at least has a laugh trying to. 

Ron decides to pretend to have a mental breakdown on the street, just to see what it's like. 

We also talk about all the ways we run from them our feelings and 4 things we can do to actually process and grow from them. 

1. Connect with your breath

2. Connect with the physical sensations in your body

3. In a private space, all alone, go crazy and scream and shout 

4. Meditate

Plus, we discuss how learning how to make animal sounds really did lead to better sex! No joke. 

So, whether you are super bummed out by the current political situation or needing to grieve over the loss of the loved one, we'll teach you what we've been doing lately to wade through the very same waters. 

Louis CK discussing the very topic. 

WANT TO KNOW OUR 12 SIMPLE PRACTICES FOR DEEPER CONNECTION AND A BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY LIFE? WE CALL IT THE R&A ROADMAP...YOU CAN GRAB IT FOR FREE BELOW!

take a sneak peak...

Episode 11: The Intentional Year

In this episode you'll hear our wins and losses from 2016. Ironically, one of our previous episodes was on how we won financially, which allowed us to go to Europe. In a horrible twist, money was also one of our biggest defeats!

Also hear a hearfelt alopogy from Ron to Morgan about not getting her a birthday card last year. 

How we're already winning again with our money in 2017 and consistency and intentionality are the themes we carry into 2017. 

Proverbs 8:22-31

Links from the show: 

Mint.com

We did a lot of research on how to get into investing (small-ish amounts). This is a brand new world to us. We were on the fence between, Acorns, Wealthfront, but finally landed on Betterment and Digit.

More stuff we referred to in this show:

Sophia Sessions!

Come on a muy, muy romantico get away with us in sunny Mexico!

 

Want to know our 12 Simple Practices for Deeper Connection and a Beautiful, Happy Life? We call it the R&A Roadmap...You can Grab it for free below!

Take a sneak peak...

Episode 10: Honeymoon Disaster

We sit down with our friends Matt and Laura Arbo who are brave enough to recount their honeymoon disaster. 

This kind of story is one we hear a lot...

It usually goes like this, "I was a good christian kid, I waited to have sex until marriage, and it was a disaster!"

Matt and Laura go into glory (glorious) detail of everything that went wrong on their wedding night and into their honeymoon. Including how the FedEx man almost walked in on their romantic, but not very private honeymoon airbnb.

No story would be great without a redemptive ending! They also share their secrets that brought them from awkward and painful to fun and enjoyable!

In this episode you also learn:

  • Why rose pedals on a bed isn't as sexy as you would think
  • How the cultural view of sex is only tied to the male orgasm
  • How preparing for great sex is a must
  • How a husbands lead is critical in making sex fantastic- (stay to the end, Matt really shares some great stuff about this)

We're so grateful to hear and share their story. Go follow them on instagram and let them know how much you appreciate them too. 

Matt on Instragram

Laura on Instagram

 

Episode 9: Fear

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Is fear holding you back? Fear keeps us from making progress and from going forward. It keeps us frozen and buried in shame. In this episode we talk about how we made the break from fear and get traction. Plus we resurrect Sexy Tuxedo Jesus and catch you up a little on what’s new with us.

BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

1) What one thing are you afraid of right now in this moment of your life?

2) What is the one thing you are going to do to move through that fear?

3) What's your normal reaction when facing fear?

4) How do you want to live differently in 2017?

Episode 8: Money, Money, Money

Money, Money, Money or How to travel like a millionaire, even when you aren’t one. Follow along with The R&A Roadmap for Deeper Connection We are covering #7 LIVE GRATEFULLY BELOW YOUR MEANS.  

When we are grateful we say, "What I have and who I am is enough." A materialistic and busy lifestyle isn't sexy or fulfilling. When we trade entitlement for gratitude we end up with more time and money to spend on things that really matter.

We got an email the other day (we read it in the podcast) asking us a very pointed question, "How do you afford to travel like you do?" We knew something like this was coming and thought others were asking the same thing so we thought we'd talk about it in our 8th and final episode of season one. 

The gist is this, we live below our means, we spend less than we earn, we save a lot and we are super aggressive about getting to the root of our emotional and spiritual relationship with money.

In this episode, you are going to learn 6 crucial things that will change the way you think about money.

  1. Why most Americans AREN’T Living a life of true romance and meaningful adventure.

  2. Our own story of redefining the american dream and realizing how our relationship with money had a direct correlation with our connection with one another and our biggest dreams.

  3. The three things that keep most people from getting control of their money.

  4. And how saying YES to just one thing can help you overcome all these obstacles.

  5. What the average american spends on housing, food and transportation and how taking control of these areas will allow to never feel guilty again about that fancy cappuccino.

  6. Some easy practical steps to get you on a healthy financial path, plus 4 questions you must discuss your spouse TODAY, if you want to align your spending with your heart for Romance and Adventure. (see below)

We’ve also included all the steps we took and questions we asked ourselves to get financially ahead. How you handle your money is such a big deal, don’t wait till your next date night to talk about this topic, do it right away. Maybe eat a little ice cream after to reward yourself for your efforts.

1). Get Yourself Basic Financial Education

    1. Enroll in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University

    2. Read every single blog post on SugarMama.Tv

    3. Find a friend who is good with money and vulnerably invite them into your life and your spending habits, ask them for advice and help.

    4. Manisha Thakkar, Director for Wealth Strategies for Women at BAM ALLiance recommends Practicing Joy Filled Spending and doing an audit of your expenses for the last 3 months to really consider what purchases gave you the best ROI/happiness. 

  1.  Say YES to the Hero’s Journey (Spiritual/Emotional Health)

    1. 12 Step

    2. Counseling/Therapy

    3. Program at your church

  2. Have a State of the Union meeting with your spouse and discuss these 4 questions    

    1. What are we spending money on? (use Mint for a good trends report): 

    2. Does what we spend reflect what we value?

    3. What DO we value?

    4. How can we create a new budget that better reflects our values, dreams and goals?

  3. Be willing to make SEISMIC shifts

    1. Downsizing into a smaller house

    2. Selling a vehicle, etc

  4. Sign up for our Webinar How to win at #couplegoals

    1. http://www.romanceandadventure.com/couplegoals

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Average American Spending

To Buy or Rent a Home? Weighing Which Is Better

More Stats on Debt from Nerd Wallet