Episode 4: She wore a bikini to church

R&A Practice #2: Bring life-giving rituals into your daily routine, like lighting a candle in the a.m. instead of turning on a screen. It reconnects you to the present, to the sacred and to your True Self.

How do you get out of a rut and into a groove? Is there a way to stop feeling like life is passing you by? There are things we have to do everyday-- eat, sleep, go to work, put our kids to bed, clean the house and ourselves, are a few examples. Can we make this everyday stuff more romantic and adventurous?

In this episode we talk about the power of transforming daily routines into life giving rituals. It’s the second of twelve practices that we have laid out for you in The R&A  Roadmap for Deeper Connection and Sexy Confidence, Morgan and I sit down and interview one another about our evolving relationship with ritual, stories of how we’ve failed miserably, and how we hope to bring more ritual into our life to grow as individuals and as a couple.

In this episode:

- You'll hear the story of one of Morgan’s most embarrassing moments (it involves a white bikini and church).

- You'll learn how rituals are actually “spiritual technologies” that have the power to bring us back to our best selves.

- You’ll learn how to make peace with the tension between presence and productivity.

- You’ll hear the good news on how tiny acts of meaningful ritual can create big changes in the quality of your personal, family and married life.

-You’ll get the deets on Ronnie’s “Man Wall” and how you can create your own sacred space at home.

We’ve also included all the questions that we asked each other (plus a few more we didn’t get to) in the notes below. Use them on your next date night with your lover, dinner party with your bffs, or as journal prompts to get to know your own heart better.

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BEAUTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DEEPER CONNECTION:

  1. WHAT EXPERIENCE HAVE YOU HAD WITH FORMAL RITUAL? (CHILDHOOD UPBRINGING OR RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES)

  2. WHAT ARE YOUR MOST MEANINGFUL PERSONAL RITUALS?

  3. RITUALS CAN BE USED FOR MANY PURPOSES. HERE ARE THREE THAT WE EXPLORED IN THE PODCAST:

1) TO BRING MORE BEAUTY TO EVERYDAY TASKS

2) TO BRING MORE CONSISTENCY TO YOUR CREATIVE WORK AND PASSIONS

3). TO BRING YOU HOME TO YOURSELF NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE OR WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS

TALK ABOUT/WRITE DOWN SOME RITUALS YOU’D LIKE TO EXPLORE WEAVING INTO YOUR LIFE FOR ONE OR ALL THREE OF THESE PURPOSES.

  1. WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL “MAGIC HOUR”- THE TIME OF DAY YOU FEEL MOST ALIVE, CREATIVE, EXCITED ABOUT LIFE?

  2. WHAT ELEMENTS OF RITUALS ARE YOU DRAWN TO? LIGHTING CANDLES, REFLECTING ON MEANINGFUL PHOTOS/SIGNIFICANT OBJECTS, COMMUNION (FOOD OR DRINK).

  3. DO YOU HAVE A SACRED SPACE IN YOUR HOME OR OFFICE WHERE YOU PLACE MEANINGFUL THINGS (LIKE RONNIE’S MAN WALL THAT SHOWCASED FAMILY PHOTOS, A BIRD FEATHER, ANTIQUE CLIMBING GEAR)? WHAT WOULD YOU PUT THERE IF YOU CREATED ONE?

  4. WHAT ACTIVITIES HELP YOU COME HOME TO YOURSELF? BATH? YOGA PRACTICE? LONG RUN? DO YOU HAVE A DAILY PRACTICE OF THESE ANCHORING ACTIVITIES? WHY OR WHY NOT?

  5. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO INCORPORATE A NEW RITUAL INTO YOUR LIFE (OR ADOPT SOMEONE ELSE’S RITUALS) AND FAILED MISERABLY? WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE?

  6. WHAT RITUALS DO  YOU WANT TO GET BETTER AT? WHAT AREA OF YOUR LIFE DO YOU THINK COULD BE BENEFITED BY A NEW OR REVIVED RITUAL?

QUOTES FROM THIS WEEK’S EPISODE

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard, A Writing Life

“What we practice, we become. What’s true of playing the piano or throwing a ball also holds for our capacity to move through the world mindlessly and destructively or generously and gracefully. I’ve come to think of virtues and rituals as spiritual technologies for being our best selves in flesh and blood, time and space.” -Krista Tippett Becoming Wise: An Inquiry into the Mystery and Art of Living

LINKS & NOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

Becoming Wise : An Inquiry into the Mystery & Art of Living 

Rituals for Living Dreambook

Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal & Delight in Our Busy Lives

Daily Rituals: How Artists Work 

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